My Besties – Oases in the Desert of Doom

As life moves on, priorities change, relationships also undergo changes. Change – that’s simply the rule of the world. And yet, there are some relationships which get redefined with the passage of time eg. a girl’s relationship with her mother. As it is rightly said, a girl truly starts understanding her mum when she takes her own first steps into motherhood. But there is another relationship which sustains a new mum in her first few days/months/years – one which is equally beautiful, and equally vital; yet doesn’t get nearly half the attention it deserves: the girl gang, the besties, the BFFs. Lifesavers is what I call them.

It started from even before N’s arrival. Video calls across oceans and time zones, due dates barely a month apart. Different cultures, but same silly queries and concerns. And afterwards, dealing with new milestones, deciding on sensory books, choosing the baby’s accessories. Even sharing notes on the emotional whirlwinds of dealing with a serious illness in the family on one hand, and a rampaging toddlero-saurus on the other. Love transcends boundaries and distances.

Some are like your very backbone. From silly queries to emotional turmoils, from tears at 6am to meltdowns at midnight – there’s nothing they won’t heal over a cup of coffee or a spoonful of El Ampaleh. List of things to pack before heading to the hospital? Check. How to deal with a crying newborn? Check. Need advice regarding foods and toys? Check. Searching for nannies? Check. Packing before your first trip with a toddler? Check. Decking up your room for the newborn’s arrival? Heck, they have already landed at your place with the essentials. At your wit’s end with a pitifully crying infant post- vaccination with no one to guide? Hey, they have apparated beside you to lend a shoulder. Even if you know you are in the wrong, even if the whole world is against you, these rocks will unabashedly and vociferously support you, till hell freezes over. Bulls, they are.

Some might be more subtle. Remembering to take you out of your consultation room for your favorite lemon tea, right when you are at your wit’s end. Or subtly bringing their own professional skills to the fore, while offering practical solutions to your rants, or simply just lending an ear and a shoulder – just when you need it. Or just lightening up your moods when you are down, or simply enquiring about your well-being, when no one else does. Sharing delight at both your kiddo’s antics.

Some may not have ever walked on your path, and yet, they are there for you, always…because, well, because they care for you! They will turn up for a cuppa, because they know you crave that time out. They’ll share shopping tips because they know you miss the carefree times. And they will even make futuristic trip plans – because they know you have the same dream, too!

And then, there are they who you may not have ever been too close to, but still, they will reach out to lend a hand or an ear – simply because they know the arduous journey all too well. And you are grateful for that too – because sometimes, that is all you need.

All of us have one or more, or all of them in our lives, do we not? Our own shady nooks, our oases in the desert of doom!